Weight Loss Progress

So the weight loss is going better than expected. I’m down about 15 pounds from May 1st, which puts me on track to be down 25 pounds by mid July. I’m a little worried about muscle loss since I am so limited on what exercises I can do, but I’m putting that into the ‘things I cannot change’ category and trying not to let the stress of it get to me too much. I am walking a lot, and I enjoy that.

For those interested, I use the Sparkpeople app to track my food and exercise. I think you have to go into the full site to get your goals set up to see the recommended calories a day, etc. but after that I recommend the app instead. The full site is crazy ad heavy so it loads super slow and is generally a pain. But it’s all free, so it has that going for it.

Just a couple days ago I hit 190 on the scale, and got very excited that I only have 10 pounds to go! Whoo! Then I thought things through a little further and realized that my reward for losing these last 10 pounds will be getting a horrible surgery that I don’t especially want to have, and in that light it is a whole lot less exciting. The flip side is that I don’t want to stay the way I am either, as both hernias seem to be causing me more pain and discomfort as time goes along. So surgery it is. Dammit.


What’s Up with Kara’s Guts?

I know this is the question that’s on everyone’s minds. That’s keeping everyone up at night.


I guess it’s just me then.

Still, I’ll fill you in anyway because I have already said so much here, and it’s going to affect the blog and my making of the things. I’m going to need more surgery. My innards have not been behaving themselves. I’ve herniated through both my colectomy incision site and my iliostomy site. The hernia at the iliostomy site is rather large. Because there are two hernias and one is a biggie, they can’t just repair them like a normal hernia repair. I need an abdominal wall reconstruction.

I’m not going to get into what that all entails in this post, but I may later on. Right now I’m working hard to emotionally come to grips with this new reality. My previous experience with surgery was pretty terrible, and frankly, this sounds like it will be worse.

Right now, I’m in major weight loss mode – much more so than the casual weight loss I was working at before this. Apparently excess weight makes abdominal wall reconstruction much less successful. Over a certain BMI, they won’t do surgery at all. I’ve just crossed down into the acceptable range, but to try to make things go as well as possible, and for this to be as strong a long term success as we can make it, my surgical team (yes, there is a team this time, not just one surgeon) wants me to drop another 20 to 30 pounds in the next 3 months. So that’s my focus right now.

Strangely, the drastic weight loss expectations are not what’s upsetting me. If the weight loss will make things go better, then I will lose the weight. I want things to go better. I want things to go great. I want things to go as well as any abdominal wall reconstruction has ever gone before in the history of abdominal wall reconstructions. Then I want to never need surgery again for anything.

Is that too much to ask?


May Health Update

Frankly, I’m pretty depressed about my weight loss efforts. I thought I was sticking to the plan very well. Missing my calorie goals occasionally, but hitting it most of the time. Over 90% on target there. Keeping up my walks, and adding in at least 3 days of 1 hour sessions at the gym with weights and cardio.

Then I got on the scale. I lost a whopping 3/4 of a pound.

It’s depressing.

I’ve also been measuring, because every weight loss expert I’ve ever read, or listened to, or heard about says to, but I don’t know if I’m doing it right. Apparently I’ve lost about an inch and a half around my waist, and an inch from my hips. I’m just no confident I’m measuring in the right place, or even in the same place every time. It’s a problem with a big tummy and no obvious waistline.

Regardless, all this work is supposed to be good for me, so I’ll keep it up. I’m more exhausted than ever, but I do’t know what else there is for me to do. I don’t want to stay how I am. So. . . onward.


How the Health Thing is Going

The Health thing is trucking along.


I keep reminding myself that slowly is good. I’ve done fast in the past, and. . . well, since I’m doing it again now it didn’t work for the long haul now did it? Down two pounds the last time I checked, which was a week or two ago. More importantly, I’m exercising almost every day, 6 out of 7 at least, and doing more than just walking all the time, but still walking too. Yoga classes two to three times a week, and using the resistance bands I got for Christmas are all giving me a good variety of exercises I hope.

I’m not going full vegan, but I’ve tried to have a vegan day or three each week. I’ve learned a new soup recipe that I really love (and will be coming up soon on another podcast review post). The funny thing about my vegan days is that it’s easier to walk away from a late afternoon cravings, like for chocolate or something similar because I don’t want to ruin my vegan eating day for it. Then the following days, having cheese feels so decadent, I don’t want the junk as much anyway. I didn’t expect that to happen, but I’m happy.


What I’m Up To

So I keep thinking about ideas for blog posts that I never actually write. Trying to remedy that little problem and get into a better schedule. To begin with I’m just going to do a little roundup of where I’m at on my various projects I’ve talked about on the bog so far.

* I haven’t done anything more with the remaining silk from our silkworms. I didn’t have enough of it done in time for the county fair, and I’m still undecided about what exactly I want to do with it. I ended up with maybe half a dozen or so cocoons that never hatched, so I want to try reeling those in the more traditional way, but probably not right away. Have a lot of other stuff on my plate right now.

* I finished an approximately 7000 word short story, and am in the process of editing it. I’m excited because it’s the first fiction project I’ve finished that’s more than 100 words in a really, REALLY long time. Yea!

* After our trip earlier in the summer, I never got back into working on The Artist’s Way. I’ve done a little journaling, but really, I should try to do that more regularly too. Or maybe not since I used what used to be journaling time for working on my story. Humm. . .

* I’m inspired by my the blog of my favorite amigurumi designer (If you either don’t know what that is or don’t have a favorite, go look – all kinds of cuteness and fun.) I’m going to start sharing a little of my fitness journey. Don’t worry, I’m thinking just once a month saying a little something about how my exercise and weight are doing. Hopefully this will keep me paying attention (I’m distractable if you couldn’t tell.) Also by keeping it to only once a month I want to avoid obsessively weighing several times a day and the kind of OCD crap I’m prone to. Generally I have a tendency to all sorts of unhealthy habits on both ends of the dieting/exercising spectrum when I think no one will notice. Maybe if I pretend people are watching, I can keep myself more moderate and honest.

* The self-led writing class is plodding along. Mostly reading so far, although I did join the Internet Writing Workshop; I haven’t really participated yet. The format isn’t instinctual to me, and there’s a lot of messages to get through, so that’s a learning curve. I need to give myself an assignment I think.

* I’ve gotten the nicest and most encouraging rejections for two flash fiction pieces I sent out awhile back and I was torn about reworking them (as the editors encouraged me to do) or just send to other markets. So they’ve just been sitting here. I think I’ve decided on sending them out for another round. I just can’t think of anything more to do with them. They say all I’m really interested in saying, and I think if I try to expand they’ll just ramble. If they don’t find a home soon, you’ll see them here!

* I’m making an I-spy quilt for my littlest. Seems kinda a shame to make a simple square quilt with my snazy new machine, but I have a plan for a little wall hanging that maybe I can get fancy on next.

Now, time to do dishes.


It’s That Time Again

I’m starting a diet tomorrow.


I decided this last night, and not on New Years day, or late in December like I normally do. But it’s time.

I haven’t decided what diet I’m going to start, though. I’ve used several with happy results over the years. Richard Simmons, Sperkpeople.com, Trim Advantage (one sold by Amway and if my understanding is right, it’s kinda South Beach-ish). Then there was the plan from the nutritionist from when I was pregnant. Although that wasn’t for weight loss, I did stop gaining for the rest of my pregnancy, so my tummy got bigger, and the rest of me got smaller.

I’ve thought about asking to see that nutritionist again actually. But I feel like after 2 visits with her, and becoming a dieting expert over the years, I shouldn’t need help again. But none of the plans out there are designed for vegetarians, so I have to change them all. The plans she gave me were for pregnancy, so they aren’t right for me now.

And, honestly, even after all these years, and after all I’ve learned, I do still feel like I need some help. And that makes me sad.

I don’t know if I’ve put it off because it makes me sad, or because, having been here before, I know the work I’m getting myself in for. To stick to a diet is to spend an awful lot of time thinking about food. You’d think I’d like that, but I don’t. Planning, and measuring, and planning some more. Then heaven forbid, plans change and I’m stuck having to improvise something to eat away from home. Oh the horror.

But it can’t be helped.

And it’s never as bad as it seems like it will be. That’s the part I need to remind myself about. I’m always happy I did the work. Everything worthwhile is like that, isn’t it?